Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
