We're facebook friends in real life
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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