Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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