im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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