eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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