You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize