ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
