He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Blood and glitter go together right?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
