He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
