Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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