I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
