Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
