I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
