First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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