handjob tips. give me some.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
