I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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