your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize