if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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