pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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