so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
