i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize