i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
