If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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