my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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