Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
