Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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