Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.

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(704): I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum. http://tfl.nu/041y

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(513): View more from Ohio

direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN

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(513): direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN http://tfl.nu/vd6u

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16

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(504): Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16 http://tfl.nu/jkrb

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(503): View more from Oregon

why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

(541): View more from Oregon

I don't know but we should still do that

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(503): why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men? (541): I don't know but we should still do that http://tfl.nu/3rqy

Replies (20) Good night (5058) Bad night (606)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.

(407): View more from Florida

Its part of my fall instant classic line.

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(515): I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot. (407): Its part of my fall instant classic line. http://tfl.nu/v43i

Replies (13) Good night (3396) Bad night (563)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.

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(405): You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's. http://tfl.nu/922r

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy

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(908): i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy http://tfl.nu/exgt

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(443): View more from Maryland

we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.

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(443): we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it. http://tfl.nu/i4yi

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(571): View more from Virginia

you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again

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(571): you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again http://tfl.nu/ac3x

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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(704): It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning http://tfl.nu/8zj7

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.

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(814): Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck. (215): Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate. http://tfl.nu/mf4n

Replies (5) Good night (1234) Bad night (308)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?

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(920): Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night? http://tfl.nu/ykmq

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(210): View more from Texas

This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.

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(210): This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions. http://tfl.nu/0vpd

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(937): View more from Ohio

BoomCity!!!

(1-937): View more from Ohio

You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.

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(937): BoomCity!!! (1-937): You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong. http://tfl.nu/5msc

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(210): View more from Texas

I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.

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(210): I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do. http://tfl.nu/dd4u

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