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I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
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