Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.