There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
