Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.