I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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