Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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