I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Boobs speak an international language.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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