she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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