I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize