the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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