A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
