im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
