What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If I had your ass I would rule the world
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
