Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize