if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
