it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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