i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize