Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize