Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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