i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
