I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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