I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
