Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize