but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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