I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
