I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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