also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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