Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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