New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
